Alcohol is evil

Now, I’ll be the first to admit that I enjoy a drink. Several drinks, in fact. And I’d even conceed that alcohol itself is not to blame for my own stupid, idiotic actions under it’s influence. But this time I feel I’ve really excelled myself.

This is worse than the time I woke up in Sheffield with only one shoe. This beats the time I woke up in a field in Stockport with a cow licking my face. Oh yes, this was just dumb.

I’ve purchased 1200 Marlboro Lights while in a drunken haze. I don’t smoke lights, and I hate marlboro. I’ve also paid £3.50 for each pack of twenty, giving a grand outlay of £210.

The worst part of all this is that I had no idea I’d done it. I discovered my errant purchase earlier today, though it seems the transaction occurred some time on Saturday night. No-one seems to have any record of where I was between the hours of 11pm and 12:30am on that night, though I believe a kebab may have been involved, along with whichever canny bastard managed to offload his entire collection of smuggled fags on me.

I am a total, utter fool.