South Korea to send flood aid North

August 20, 2006

In a rare display of mutual goodwil, South Korea has offered food and supplies to its crazy Northern counterpart following catastrophic flooding.

The North, which has been run into the ground by a combination of UN sanctions and horrific mismanagement under Kim Jong-Il and the Communist party, has taken terrible casualties from recent flooding and famine, and finally agreed to accept aid after massive storms in July.

Relations between the two countries have gotten increasingly hostile over the years since the Korean War. The North, which has the largest per capita army in the world, has tested new long-range missiles by lobbing them over the South and into the sea, and is known to have up to four nuclear weapons. They are also, not to put too fine a point on it, utterly crazy.

Korea’s actual head of state, Kim Il-Sung, has been dead for 12 years, but this has apparently not slowed his career in any way at all. He’s still in charge, albeit via his son, the frankly deranged Kim Jong-Il. Little Kimmy seems to think of himself more as a rock star than a head of state; he’s more worried about people talking about him than what they actually say. And he maintains a strict hold on all information within North Korea. He spends most of his time watching one of the only televisions in the country to receive satellite TV, surfing the internet on just about the only non-censored PC, and driving the rest of the world to distraction with his antics.

However, he also authorised the exchange of video tapes with South Korea that allowed families who’ve not seen each other in sixty years a brief moment of happiness, and he was behaving much better until a certain Western leader branded him a member of an ‘axis of evil’. Since then, North Korea has become increasingly petulant, and has openly threatened the South on occasion. With any luck, this particular friendly move may cause them to be a little less aggressive, as their only ally China has been urging.

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