by Martin Odoni
The ghastly senior Cabinet announced yesterday by the even-more-ghastly new Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, will, I suspect, eventually be known as The Ikea Cabinet. This is because they are the brain-trust (using the word ‘brain’ in the most generous possible sense) of the most collapsible Government since Ramsay MacDonald first became Prime Minister.
The horror of a Cabinet full of (probably) corrupt, fanatical, blinkered extremists like Priti Patel, Dominic Raab, Andrea Leadsom and Sajid Javid perhaps loses its sting due to the set-up in Parliament now being so unstable that the Government could cave in any minute. Literally. I have to keep checking even as I type to make sure it is still there, and whether to abandon this article this instant; the ritual despair of the blog-writer is the danger that your laboriously-written, ground-out thoughts will become out-of-date before you have clicked ‘Publish‘.
In fairness to Johnson
To give even a foul racist like Johnson his fair due, he has not let his casual contempt for other cultures interfere in his selection process. A genuine feather-in-his-cap is that two of the four biggest offices of the British state are for the first time occupied by ethnic minority politicians, namely Patel as Home Secretary and Javid as Chancellor of the Exchequer. Setting aside how inappropriate their hard-line attitudes are, just the fact they have managed to ‘get there’ speaks volumes for how far our obnoxious, backward-looking country has come in the theatre of race-relations. However draconian the UK’s economic approach is, it has become socially far more liberal than most countries around the world over the course of the last thirty years, and even Johnson appears to have been affected for the better by it. However, how much he really wanted to appoint them, and how much the decision was forced upon him by refusal among many of his Parliamentary colleagues to work with him, is perhaps up for discussion.
That discussion is made all the more necessary judging by another appointment. Michael Gove, perhaps the only current Conservative MP even more temperamentally ill-suited to the top job than Johnson, has been given a Cabinet post as Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster.
A nothing politician in a nothing Cabinet post.
Pompous sinecures
Now, I discussed years ago a previous post – Chief Whip – to which Gove was reshuffled by David Cameron, and how it meant he was no longer a member of the Cabinet. He was allowed to sit in on Cabinet meetings purely on the grounds of possessing the meaningless sinecure of Parliamentary Secretary to the Treasury, which all Chief Whips are given, and which bestows upon them precisely no duties or powers.
History, for Gove, is rhyming. Because Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster is a fraudulent sinecure too. The name refers to part of the reigning Monarch’s estate, dating back to the overthrow of Richard II by his cousin Henry Bolingbroke, Duke of Lancaster. But it has no practical implication at all. It does not even grant Gove the duties or powers of a Chief Whip, let alone a genuine, active Government department over which he can make decisions. Given Gove’s generally abysmal performances as Education Secretary, and later as Environment Secretary, some may argue that the fewer powers he is handed, the better. I would agree. But that invites the question, “Well, why include Gove in the Cabinet at all?”
Well, Johnson and Gove are old friends – despite Gove rather stabbing Johnson in the back three years ago during the contest to succeed Cameron – and therefore, I suspect that this is an old dirty trick practiced by Prime Ministers for at least fifty years.
Wilson’s dirty trick
Harold Wilson, Labour Prime Minister from 1964-1970 and 1974-1976, led a succession of Cabinets that were prone to breaking up into squabbles. Wilson had to find a way to resolve arguments, preferably in favour of policies he wished to pursue. The method he hit upon to achieve this was, rather than flood the Cabinet with only Ministers of the highest ability, he instead made sure that there were always a few mediocre, weakling MPs appointed to meaningless departments or offices that he deliberately set up for them. These second-raters’ lack-of-ability meant that they were dispensable, and they probably knew it. Therefore, their ministerial futures were entirely dependent on Wilson’s goodwill, and of course that guaranteed their obedience. Therefore, when debates in Cabinet were put up for the vote, these no-hopers were certain to support Wilson’s preferred course of action. So by regularly appointing a handful of stuffed-shirts to his Cabinet, Wilson guaranteed himself a majority of Ministers to support his position at all times. (I doubt that this was the earliest example of the trick in Prime Ministerial history, but it is the earliest that I know of for certain. But whatever the truth of that, as a rule, in a political ally, a Prime Minister loves deep weakness and fears high ability.)
A non-role for the non-competent
I imagine Gove’s appointment to a non-department is a similar story. Johnson knows Gove, as a prominent MP, would potentially be dangerous as backbench rebel. Johnson has also seen that, friendship or no friendship, Gove is ambitious enough to betray anybody whenever it suits him. (Much like Johnson…) Equally, because he and Gove are old friends and have a history of working together, Johnson realises that Gove will likely vote in support of his position during most Cabinet squabbles. So for Johnson, having Gove in the Cabinet is preferable to leaving him on the backbenches. But also knowing Gove’s feeble history in high office, Johnson will not trust him with a Ministry. Ergo, Gove must be in the Cabinet, but not in a Department.
Ergo Gove is now Chancellor of the Duchy of Lancaster. A position for Ministers too incompetent to be made Secretary of State for Sport.
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